SO YOU’VE FOUND YOURSELF A BF/GF…NOW HOW TO KEEP ONE????

So summer is here and L.O.V.E. is in the air. Everyone is looking for that “RIGHT-NOW” person or even ready for a permanent lover.
Lately a lot of people are wondering where to find SingleWomen/SingleMen (i.e. http://www.thisisyourconscience.com/?p=2317 and http://www.followthel.com/2010/07/goodies-successful-black-women-are.html ), so we’ve sort of established how to get over this (i.e. jus approach /be yourself/hope for the best)...Let’s move on shall we.
You’ve found that special someone, changed your status on FB to IN A RELATIONSHIP, and ready for a lifetime of lllooooooooooovvveeeee…BUT WAIT!!!!! How do you make sure you go back to being a SW/SM??? Here are some tips that have help me and a lot of my non SW/SM make a relationship work:

1) Before you get in any kind of relationship, make sure you’ve had “ME TIME” and know yourself…I mean REALLY know yourself!!! You’ve taken the time to work on yourself and ready for love!
2) COMMUNICATION!!!!! I CAN’T EXPRESS HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS. If you can’t talk about anything with your significant other , rough waters ahead! Now with communication, it doesn’t mean yell/nag at the other person to get your point across; it’s really about listening/hearing/understanding where the other person is coming from/what they’re really trying to say. Men and women have 2 very different ways of communicating and understanding that you are different is def going to help you out!

WOMEN: don’t expect him to know what you’re thinking or how you feel…TELL him in a reasonable manner!
3) Be honest…not rude, just honest
4) Be open minded…a couple that grows together stays together. Find new things to get into, if you’re in Toronto, right now there’s always something to do…and a lot of them are FREE!!!
5) Show the love and never forget to express to your man/lady how much you appreciate them <3

I’m only telling you what’s been working for me (10 yrs strong) may not work for you for all but may help  Now go kiddies…get that love and keep it, cherish it!!!!!

Ode to Love

To the ladies and gentlemen looking for love, let me help you out for a second. I’m going to share a secret that’s not so secret.

You want to know why you’re still single. Why you keep finding the same “ragga muffins” all the time? Do you always find yourself asking “Where have all the good men/women gone to?” WELL… from someone that’s managed to be in a relation for 10 years I can tell you there’s a lot things that YOU need to do before you even start a search.

1. Are you happy with yourself? No really…ask yourself this honestly. Are you happy at where you are in life, can you look in the mirror and truly say you are satisfied with what you see??? If you said no, you’re not ready to be in a relationship.
How can you NOT be happy with yourself, BY YOURSELF, and except someone else to make U happy??? Those little insecurities are what’s going to sabotage the little hope your relation ever had.

2. Do find yourself bore most of the time or saying there’s nothing to do??? If you live in the GTA that’s a load of Cow manure!!! Get off your butt and go to your local community centre, park, SOMETHING and find something to do. Let it be getting on a local sports team, joining a book club or any kind of hobbies your area has to provide. There are a lot of posting at these community centres (better yet you can even go online u lazy farts LOL http://www.toronto.ca/parks/recreation_facilities/comcen/comcen_index.htm ; http://www.ymcatoronto.org/en/index.html ). Don’t be afraid to start something new, you’ll find out so much about yourself and heck you may even find love.

Now you’ve tried these and guess what you found a special someone. OH SNAP…now the real work comes in…you have to keep this relationship. The one issue that people seem to forget to keep a relationship you NEED to be able to communicate, have trust in the other person/yourself and have loooottttssss of patience!!!
You need to know learn not to dwell on the small stuff and look at the bigger picture.

Ladies: it’s easy to nag on the little stuff that your main squeeze isn’t doing, but how bout the great things he is doing? Make sure you also compliment on the good, this gives your man motivation to keep doing good and also shows him you appreciate him.

Men: try to understand where your lady is coming from if she starts attacking you with some nagging. She could have been having a bad day and sometimes the littlest thing you could do triggers something in our brains and we explode. Take time with us 

In all an open mind will save you ladies n gents…explore your surroundings and make sure you come correct before trying to find that special someone. LIVE LOVE LAUGH